Mission Statements

by Lord Omlette.
Created 2003-04-26 267 BMT.
Updated 2005-11-05 956 BMT.

No one can tell you what OmletteSoft is... but that hasn't stopped people (read: us) from trying! Pick a slogan, any slogan:

“OmletteSoft specializes in programming that is not normal. The way we do things is the way no one else would because most people are better programmers than we are.”
“The cutting fucking edge of Software Development... We'll be there soon. Honest.”
“Omlettesoft: The future of the past of programming, all right here in the present.”
“OmletteSoft: We may not do it better, faster, or more orignally, but we look damn good trying.”
“OmletteSoft: We have more mission statements than companies have products.”
“OmletteSoft: It's spelled wrong, it makes no sense, and we have nothing to show for it. In that alone, we are better than Some Other Company That Ends With 'Soft'.”
“OmletteSoft: When technology needs a kick in the pants, we provide the shoelaces.”
“OmletteSoft: If we weren't so poor, we'd be rich doing the stuff we do.”
“OmletteSoft: If Nintendo can't do it, so can't we.”
“OmletteSoft: No banner ads, No pansies, No fees, No strings attatched. And pretty much nothing else either.”
“OmletteSoft: If we didn't like us, we wouldn't have this page.”
“OmletteSoft: It's amazing what you can do with a 70 dollar domain.”
“OmletteSoft: Give us 22 seconds, and we'll give you something random.”
“OmletteSoft: CNN, CBS, ABC all have call letters. We don't.”
“OmletteSoft: More mission statements than actual missions.”
“OmletteSoft: We like Penny-Arcade, so you have to like us.”
“OmletteSoft: If words could describe us, they'd all be made of four letters.”
René: “OmletteSoft: Where there's a Will, there is usually a William.”
Omlette: WTF?!
“OmletteSoft: Governments cant stop us, trade laws can't hold us, and nobody wants us.”
“OmletteSoft: If you like good food, naked women, and programs that go *BEEP*, then you almost came to the right place.”
“OmletteSoft: Remember those guys that made the Jaguar, Atari 2600, and got bought out by Hasbro? That wasn't us.”
EvilAdam69: “Omlettesoft: We taste like grapes.”
JLP: ok, now i have to cut you off
“OmletteSoft: If this was anyother site, our search would bring up porn.”
“OmletteSoft: Information so good, we could technically make your brain pop.”
“OmletteSoft: To make the world A better place for all, or at least a better place for us.”
“OmletteSoft: The leading IPO, once our server comes back up.”
“omlettesoft.com: cost us $2 billion less to develop than Windows 2000.”
“OmletteSoft: Our mission is to stop making slogans as mission statements.”
“OmletteSoft: Pikachu is number 25, there are 26 letters in the alphabet, 27 strands of chromosomes, and 28 days in most Februarys. We find ways to relate even the most mundane things to each other.”
“We do so little that it makes you think we're some sort of secret agency that's not allowed to reveal our tasks, using some bad programmers as a front.”
“Maybe we can't program, but bust out a zerg and we're all over it!”
“omlettesoft.com chief Amit Jain is a paper billionaire, but his annual salary hardly covers a mortgage on a Union City townhouse.”
“OmletteSoft: Killing more bugs a day than cigarettes are killing people. That's alot of bugs!”
“OmletteSoft: Fighting the war against stupidity, one moron at a time.”
“OmletteSoft: We do chicken. We sure as fuck don't need to do it right.”
“OmletteSoft: We program for hours one night, then refuse to tell you what we didn't accomplish for another week!”
“OmletteSoft: We'd train the NYPD with Email X-COM, so hopefully they wouldn't hit what they shoot at TOO often.”
“OmletteSoft: We're the reason the world doesn't speak German.”
“OmletteSoft: Hard boiled and Hard coded.”
“OmletteSoft: When Bugs says "What's up doc?" we show him whats up, and where to stick it.”
“OmletteSoft: We don't make things.”
“OmletteSoft: Silently destroying all pre-conceived notions about sloppy programming.”
“OmletteSoft: Lengthening the length of lengthy pages every day.”
Ling Xiaoyu T3: lol my mom asked: “What exactly is omlettesoft?”
Ling Xiaoyu T3: she asked me like a couple days ago
JLP: tell her, “we don't know just yet, but when we do, it'll kick ass!”
“OmletteSoft: adding all those extra 0's to the paychecks that are all $0.00.”
Lt. Omlette: “Omlettesoft.....all your base.....are belong to them...yea, over there.”
Someone who might be inclined to care: “what you say!!”
Lt. Omlette: “OmletteSoft: When we say 'bite me', people usually do.”
“OmletteSoft: We make lives complete. We're the .com in .complete!”
Evil Adam: “OmletteSoft: Where programming hertz!”
JLP: DIE!
Evil Adam: “OmletteSoft: The .com means .com any closer and you are so dead!”
Evil Adam: “OmletteSoft: When the summer movies are the worst thing around, trust us to lower the bar further!”
Evil Adam: “omlettesfot: It slices, It dices, it causes GPFs!”
JLP: that's the magic h8 ball mission statement
Evil Adam: woops, i misspelled omlettesoft in that one
JLP: “omlettesfot: what i walk on”
Evil Adam: “OmletteSoft: California has earthquakes. We don't. Why? Cause we're not in California, you fucking idiot!”
40 Thieves: i notice that i now have three testicles, but nothing different in the webchat
40 Thieves: “OmletteSoft: We give you more nuts!”
IceInferno: “OmletteSoft: where all goes unappreciated”
SGAmigone & Evil Adam: “OmletteSoft: If you go to google & search for "Real Company", you might get Real Audio, but you'll NEVER get us.”
dakotah313: “Omlettesoft: because it sounds tastier than Microsoft^TM”
“OmletteSoft: We have the enthropy of a vacuum tube.”
“OmletteSoft: We don't like this wheel! Yes, it's perfectly round but we didn't make it! We're going to make a better wheel!”
“OmletteSoft: now that you're using our software, your boss will probably come over and yell at you.”
“OmletteSoft: we peddle crap here, even when you ask us not to.”
“OmletteSoft: we can run Unreal Tournament 2004, but we can't run this game.”
“OmletteSoft: Cowkitty needs our professional advice.”

Printable Version

quote #88:

Give a man a match and he'll be warm for an hour... Set him on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life
-added 2000-02-28